The Relationships of Writing - Part 2

Photo by kramkathrog/freedigitalphotos

Having joined the My Name Is Not Bob Platform Building Challenge, I've been thinking a lot about social media relationships. There seems to be two arguments going around the web.  On the one hand, writers are called to support each other and social media is all about "friends", "followers" and "tribes."  On the other hand, the legitimacy of these relationships are questioned as fake.

Personally, I don't know why it has to be an either/or kind of argument.  It seems to me that the relationships we make on the internet are what they are, no more, no less.

Although we might like the idea of writing being solitary, it has always required relationships and partnerships. A writer has always had a relationship with the reader.  Whenever I read autobiographical accounts of writers, it seems like they also had relationships (friendships) with each other.  And then they had to have relationships with their publishers and agents.

I can't imagine that writers of the past (pre-internet and pre-social media) had close relationships with all these people. The relationship depended on the need for the interaction, and probably the length of the relationship, as well.  Why isn't it the same for social media?

Just because we call someone a friend doesn't mean they are in the same category as the person we've known since kindergarten.  We define our relationships.  We make them important or not.

Social media is an introduction, an entry point for making a connection with someone else.  What level of connection is up to us to decide, no different from "real life."

I view writer's relationships with each other as similar to being on an Olympic team.  Sometimes Olympic athletes compete against each other, but they are still working for the greater good of the whole team.  We are Team Writer, and it is the nature of the business to compete against each other.  However, we can certainly have good sportsmanship.  We can help each other get better, we can make those connections, and share our success with others.

Does it have to mean we are BFF's and inexorably linked until the end of time?

No.  Not unless we want it to.

Our internet relationships are what they are.  They are a unique-unto-themselves type of relationship.  They may come and go quickly, because we don't see each other face to face.  They may lead to longer and stronger friendships, or to business partnerships.  It depends on the people behind the keyboard, and the connection that is made.

The Relationships of Writing - Part 1

Photo: Simon Howden

The term relationship has a broad meaning.  It isn't just about friendships, or romantic involvements.  Relationships are the interactions between us and the world and people around us.  They can be as close or as distant as we want, or let them, be.

Typically, I've stayed away from blogging about the craft of writing.  As I've only been writing for a short period of time, I haven't felt qualified to speak about the topic. There are so many great craft blogs out there (such as two of my favorites, Writer Unboxed and Story Fix) with experienced professionals giving fabulous advice, I've felt it best to leave the topic of the craft of writing alone.

Relationships, on the other hand, are my area of expertise.  As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I deal with other people's relationships day in, and my own relationships day out.  We've all experienced the intersection of writing with our personal lives, and I have found such an intersection in the areas of writing and relationships.

The further I delve into writing fiction, the importance of relationships surfaces again and again. I have noticed three relationships that are obvious in writing fiction; those of our characters to the setting, to each other, and the use of cause and effect.

Character and Setting


Setting can be a character unto itself.  The way I view the relationship between character and setting is very similar to our own lives and the environment in which we live.  As individuals, we are shaped and formed as we grow up by our family of origin, our economic class, our religion, the friends we keep, the culture in which we live, the list goes on and on.  We can be comfortable within our environment, or it can chafe against us.

So it is with our characters.  Setting is not just location, although that's an important part of a story.  The setting of a story interacts with our characters, and can be a catalyst for change or a source of conflict.

Characters and Other Characters


This seems like a given.  Of course our characters are going to have relationships with other characters.  But this is where that broad term becomes important.  Each character (even the minor ones) have their own view of the world around them - their own setting.  Each character has it's own needs, wants, and fears.  Each character has it's own ideas about what they need to survive, and how to go about getting those needs met.

Each interaction is greater than "friendship" or "romantic involvement."  Conflict arises out of Character A needing something from Character B that maybe Character B can't (or won't) give, because of their own wants or needs.  Or maybe Character A has a belief that doesn't align with Character B's belief system, and how are they going to work together when that is the case, because they have to work together to save the world.

Cause and Effect


When I started reading how-to books, one of the best that helped me to understand story structure was Scene & Structure by Jack M. Bickham.  In the book, Mr. Bickham says that cause and effect is key to understanding story structure.  He says that, by understanding the relationship between cause and effect, we create a logical chain of events that helps a reader suspend disbelief.  They trust the story because there is a reason why what happens in the story happens.

The part I like best, though, is that by creating order that the real world often doesn't have (truth being stranger than fiction) we, as writers, offer hope to the reader that everything will turn out all right.   To quote Mr. Bickham, "Because this kind of presentation shows a world in which things do make sense...the resulting story also has the effect of offering a little hope to the reader...that bad things don't always happen to good people for no reason...a hint that maybe the reader can seize some control of his own life after all, and that good effort may sometimes actually pay off-and our existence may indeed even have some kind of meaning."

Come to think of it, maybe that's why writing is such good therapy.  We are able to take those events in our lives that confuse the heck out of us, and turn them around and give them some order. We're able to gain some control over the chaos that is everyday life.

Have you noticed relationships in other areas of writing?