This is how I'm feeling this afternoon! I would love a nap.
Instead, I'm editing, blogging and cleaning. Well, I'm attempting to blog. I'm finding it difficult to start a post. And I think I know why, and so that will be what I'll talk about. I did look for funny photos, but they were not all that funny.
The book I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, Fearless Writing, has been very enlightening. I've read the beginning chapters, and then chapters on procrastination and accuracy, among others. Through the little bit I've rad, I understand that, today, I'm finding it hard to start because I'm afraid of being boring. I don't want to waste your time.
In order to write this post today, I'm acknowledging that maybe this isn't the most exciting or interesting post, but first, it's my blog and I can write whatever I want--even if it is boring. Secondly, while I may feel this post has the potential to be boring, it also may be helpful to someone. The point I need to remember is I don't know! I can't control anything once I write it and hit that publish button. I have to honor myself and my creation, explain what I feel or believe through essay or fiction, and then be satisfied with my efforts. Once I publish whatever it is I've written, it is up to you, the reader, to decide how to receive it (favorably or not.)
At least, that is what I've gotten from the book so far.
The interesting thing is that there's a correlation between writing a blog or writing fiction. I find it difficult to start writing fiction because of the same reasons. The ugly "what-if's" begin in my head and it isn't comfortable or fun to write. Writing becomes a chore, and so I stop.
The only place where I don't have that self-doubt when I start writing is when I write poetry. I know my poetry is for me only--at least when I write it--to express myself, and I will decide after the fact if I want to share it. It's the perfect freedom to create and is a perfect example of the book's validity. Not thinking about what happens after you publish and having writing be fun do seem to improve the likelihood of starting and continuing writing.
And learning these things did seem to help today. I started multiple times and looked at the screen for about an hour trying to figure out how to start the post and what to write about. Finally, when I realized exactly what I was afraid of, and when I decided to just write a post, I finally was able to write something.
Who knows, this may be the start of something great!
Have a great week! I'm excited for the eclipse tomorrow. We have one of the longest totalities in Nebraska. It's going to be great, as long as the clouds don't move in!