Where Has All the Pressure Gone?

I think I was supposed to draw for the winner of my Milestone Party Giveaway on July 6th, so I must apologize for being late.  I'll discuss that later, but right now, I'd like to announce the winner.

Mike Schulenberg, come on down!!

To claim your prize, just tweet me or e-mail me at laschiff(at)ymail(dot)com your card preference (Amazon, or some other card) and we will figure out how to get the gift card to you!  Congratulations!

Since the end of June, I have been working on organizing my house.  Are you wondering why I am telling you this?  Well, partially because it is my excuse for not having the drawing when I should have, but also because it got me thinking about what writing is for me.

The roles I "play" are pretty varied.  I work as a social worker in a Title 1 school, so I get to see some pretty sad families and children. I struggle at times with my own parenting, especially when I can't get my children to stop talking about poop, pee, diapers (what is THAT about), or passing gas (out of either end.)  My husband is taking classes for his second masters, my parents are getting older and starting to have health issues.  My nephew has Asperger's Syndrome and I worry every day that the kids at school will pick on him, yet again.

This is my life.  Don't get me wrong. I love it, and feel so fortunate to have a well-paying job, two healthy children, parents who live nearby and I can see daily, a husband who "gets" me, and my nephew close by.  It's just that writing doesn't seem like reality.  

What Writing is to Me

Photo by Brenda Starr

Writing is a "want to" not a "have to."  I want to write great, well-constructed stories.  I want to have them published in a place that will allow other people to find them and read them.  I want to have people enjoy my stories, and want to read more.  But when it comes down to it, I will survive if none of that happens.

Because of the type of person I am, I am going to do whatever I can to get to the place I want to be.  I'm going to write. I'm going to achieve the goals I set before myself, which act as signposts to the final goal of (hopefully) becoming a full-time writer. But by realizing that I don't have to be writing, blogging, tweeting, etc..., a lot of pressure has gone away.

Where Has All the Pressure Gone?

Beats me!  But, I'm happier for it.  I am writing a story that I find interesting.  I'm doing my best to get around to read everyone's fine blogs, but not worrying if I don't make it or can't think of a witty comment. I'm feeling more relaxed than I have in the three years I've been writing fiction.  I'm not stressing over -- okay, not stressing as much -- about getting published.

Free Digital Photos

It's All About the Love

What I love about being a writer is the sense of other-worldliness I get when I write.  For the amount of time I'm plotting, or writing a scene, I get to be whomever I want, and go wherever I want.  I have some control and can right wrongs I don't get to in "real life."

Writing, for the last three years, has been sanity.  It has given me an escape from the stresses of every day, and allowed my the joy of creation.  It has been frustrating, and exciting, and educational.  I've learned a ton about the craft of writing, but most of all, I've learned a ton about myself.  I do love writing, and I don't think I will ever stop, even if I never get published.

As I mentioned in the Milestone Party post, I've realized there are certain things I can't control.  All I can do is make sure I have my part done, and then hope for the best.  Finally, I'm okay with that.

Have you had any epiphanies lately you'd like to share?