Saturday, May 07, 2011

How Clever Am I?

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.  Oscar Wilde
Ever have one of those spells where inside your head everything is crystal clear?  With eager anticipation of the pearls of literature that are going to flow through your keyboard onto the computer screen before you, the typing begins.  You take a break.  You read over the last two hours of hard work.  You think to yourself, I wonder what the hell THAT was supposed to mean.

Somehow all the clarity got lost in transition from brain to computer, and you can only assume that confusion would continue on to the reader.  I have been experiencing this phenomena for the last two weeks.  When I do finally get an opportunity to write, I can't seem to make a sentence that is understandable, much less great dialogue or description that grips.

What causes this to happen?  Wish I knew.  I suspect, though, that fear might be lurking in my creative recesses.  I have never gotten so far into writing a novel, and the uncomfortable feeling of driving without a map has settled in.  Writing has proven to be a wonderful, empowering and frightening process.  I have had to learn to let go of the creative reigns time and again, and trust the process.  I guess now is one of those times.  Deep breaths.

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